There's a line in the "Who Shot Mr. Burns?: Part 1" episode from the "The Simpsons" when Santa's Little Helper has to wear an Elizabethan collar.
Grandpa sees the dog walking by and says, "Hey, the lamp's running away."
Well, my little lamp didn't run away, but Kate has to wear an e-collar for the next two weeks.
Yesterday morning, I took her — after all these years — to have her teeth cleaned. And while she was under anesthesia, the veterinarian also removed a small growth on her eyelid that was making her eye produce some gunk.
Kate came through the procedures fine, though she was a little unsteady from the sleeping gas when I picked her up around 5 p.m. Her back legs really didn't start holding up their part of the bargain until around 7:30 p.m. or so.
I read — on the Enterwebs, of course — that dogs get used to having the cumbersome looking devices around their necks and can even eat, drink and sleep in them.
So I elevated her water bowl by using a coffee mug. To prevent the bowl from sliding around, I used some double-sided sticky carpet backing I had saved from when I had my stair treads installed.
Kate was able to drink her water easily, and I rigged her food bowl the same way.
I was going to title this entry "1 down and 13 to go," based on last night's experience. While Kate kept the collar on all night, it was not without a lot of effort on her part.
After a couple hours of sleep in a comfy bed, I went downstairs (the vets recommended Kate stay on one level and avoid stairs for a while) at 3:30 a.m. to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully.
That is, until I laid down on the couch, figuring I just sleep there for the rest of the "night," better to keep an eye on her.
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, Kate got up and tried to get the collar off herself. She walked around the living room and into the kitchen, stopping to successfully drink some water several times.
Finally after about 10 minutes, she laid back down and went to sleep.
About an hour later, she was up again, but only briefly as she tried a couple more times to shed her "collar of shame," as my friend Alice calls it.
Then she slept until well after I got up to start my day. She did manage somehow to get the collar off her head while I was in the shower. I reattached it and she went back to sleep.
Two weeks, huh?
And no, Kate, it doesn't matter which direction you point the collar. It doesn't help the reception on the TV.