Greatest American Dog — episode 9

Don't worry, Galaxy is OK. And also don't worry, because there's only one more episode after this one.

Galaxy's injury was ... psychosomatic, or something.

JD (of & Galaxy) said, "Galaxy is my best bud and the love of my life and even if it was 10 million bucks and my dog was injured I would never ever push her."

JD believes in run-on sentences, but does he believe that pushing a dog for $250,000 is OK?

Seriously, Galaxy showed up in the last show with a limp. You remember the last episode? The one with elephants and flying dogs?

JD took Galaxy to the vet but the limp was gone by then.

That was easy.

The theme this week was loyalty, shown by the dog's ability to focus and its desire to please its owner, so said the Weasel host.

For the Golden Bone Challenge (I keep telling myself that after next week if there is a God I'll never have to type Golden Bone Challenge again), the dogs will face their humans while both are standing on tree stumps 15 feet away from each other. The dog has to stay in a sit or a stand and cannot lie down.

The winning team will be the one to stay on their stump the longest.

Laurie (of & Andrew) said her training method is, of course, superior to all the others who will constantly and repeatedly tell the dog to stay, stay, stay, while pointing their fingers at them.

Laurie's method, so she says, is to tell the dog once and stand there with arms folded.

They are the first to be eliminated, naturally. (If I could type this with my arms folded, I would.)

Galaxy folded (Ha) next, leaving Travis & Presley and Teresa & Leroy on the stumps. Travis is getting freaked about how Presley is acting, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable as the seconds tick by.

Travis tries to make a deal with Teresa to both end it and share the luxury suite and the advantage. She will have none of it, so Travis buckles. Really both man and dog seemed relieved to have it over with.

Teresa: "He's (Leroy) here to win ... and that was a sign of loyalty." Yeah, right, it was Leroy's idea to do this show.
Travis: "My only regret was I didn't call it off sooner."

For the elimination challenge, the humans would be training each other's dogs. But they weren't given any more information than that. Only Teresa, because she won the first challenge, would find out early, as her "leg up."

Laurie, naturally, doesn't want anyone messing with Andrew. "I don't give my dog over to other people," she said. "I would never want anyone to do something to undermine what he feels about me."

In the confines of the luxury suite, Teresa reads a note that outlines the elimination challenge. "You and your dog will be stationed in the middle of a semicircle. Each one of the others will try and lure your dog out of the semicircle. It will be a test of your dog's loyalty whether to stay with you or be tempted by distractions," the note read.

Each human had an hour to bond with each of the others' dogs. Teresa used her time to undermine the other dogs' loyalty, so she thinks.

Of all the dogs, Andrew didn't want to have anything with anyone else. During his hours with Travis and JD, he kept trying to get away. Andrew left the house and went back to Laurie, while JD was trying to find him. He even asked Laurie if she'd seen a little white dog around, and she said no, even though Andrew was right there.

In the Best in Show arena, the three humans who didn't already know what was going to happen were told. The challenge was called "Me or Them."

They would be judged on three criteria: the owner's use of commands, the dog's focus and the dog's overall loyalty.

A dog is trained or not trained to maintain a sit, stand or whatever. Kate may be loyal to me, but if she breaks a sit, it's because I haven't trained her well enough.

Laurie & Andrew are up first. Not surprisingly, Andrew couldn't care less about any of the other humans. In fact, the pooch yawned during the antics of the other owners.

Remember when Laurie said her training method was to tell the dog once and then stand there? Well, she didn't follow her own advice. She kept saying to Andrew, "Ah, ah, ah, leave it."

Whatever she did worked. Though I think that Andrew's dependence on her is weird. This is coming from a dog owner whose pup will come upstairs at night, but then go back downstairs after a little while to sleep the rest of the night. Then when I come downstairs in the morning, Kate will go upstairs.

I don't take it personally.

Galaxy stayed, Leroy stayed and Presley didn't.

Leroy, when he was released from the command, went over to the Weasel. Teresa called to him, saying, "He's not your friend." She is strange.

Britty McBrit said everyone should take a leaf out of Laurie's book. "There wasn't anything threatening in her body at all. She was giving commands. Kudos to you."

People actually say "kudos to you"?

Clutchy McClutch said she thought Andrew was a little too attached, and Laurie said he was in no way nervous. "He just prefers me," she said. To which JD sarcastically said, "Yeah."

Old Guy said Leroy was frantic. "He was kind of jumping out of his skin," he said, adding that his barking was a sign of frustration.

Old Guy also said that Galaxy, though she performed for JD, was robotic. Britty added that she found JD extremely threatening toward his dog.

Then in one of the most annoying things on the program (and that's saying a lot), Britty said, "JD, look at me. Do not take your eyes away from me. Is that a threatening stance to you?"

JD: "No, ma'am." Did see really expect him to crater?

Clutchy said that Travis & Presley have the cutest relationship, but Presley is too young (read, untrained) to sit there and listen to Travis. Britty said that it was great that Presley came back to Travis even if he broke the command.

Then we got to see what the judges talk about when they deliberate. Still doesn't make me like any of them.

Clutchy wanted to ax Travis & Presley, Britty wanted to get rid of Teresa & Leroy and Old Guy repeated that his Galaxy-is-robotic comment. He needs new material.

Special recognition went to Laurie & Andrew.

Again, Old Guy said Galaxy was robotic. "She was executing commands, not displaying loyalty," he said. (See my comment above.)

Britty said Teresa forgot what the challenge was about: not obedience, but loyalty. (See my comment above.)

Clutchy said Presley didn't have any focus.

JD & Galaxy were chosen to remain.

Britty: "This is really a tough decision for all of us tonight. Do you expel a dog that stayed inside the circle, but did so out of fear or do you expel a dog that left the circle but came back to the owner out of love and respect?"

The loser? Teresa & Leroy.

She said they both grew so much in a just a few weeks. "I am going to be so thankful for eveything that he gives me," Teresa said.

Leroy barked. Natch.

Next week is the finally. Ur, the finale.

Looks like there will be more elephants. Sigh.