Greatest American Dog — episode 4

It was America's Top Dog Model last night on the fourth episode of Greatest American Dog.

The elimination challenge is a photo shoot with the dogs depicting an emotion.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, because on this show about dogs, it's all about the humans.

With David & Elvis gone, Ron (of & Tillman) says he's relieved that he won't have to sleep with one eye open. Elvis, you remember, bit Tillman during a tussle. Ron's statement is strange because he and David supposedly kissed and made up.

And Travis and Laura continue their long march toward hooking up. In the kitchen. While cooking. If I'm ever invited over to their house, remind me to eat a little something before hand.

Brandy continues her long march toward being jealous of Laura, and makes snarky remarks while the pre-couple continues "cooking."

Cut to the next morning and there's Beth (ugh) Joy preparing Bella Starlet's food, with syringes of something. Hmmm. Is there anything wrong with her pooch that requires medical intervention or is it simply Beth (ugh) Joy's neurotic behavior made manifest in how she (over)treats her dog?

I'm not sure I want an answer to that.

On to the Dog Bone Challenge where the owners will see how well they know their dogs. Kinda like a very furry episode of the Newlywed Game.

The owners have to indicate whether the dog will go for something (steak, stick, tofu?) or leave it alone.

Going for it = licking or mouthing; sniffing = leave it.

I'm sure those are rules we all live by.

Had I been given a choice about this show, I would have chosen "leave it."

Of course, we see the owners say that XXXXX will never touch YYYYYY, and then they are found completely wrong. And they are shocked. Shocked!

J.D. & Galaxy win the challenge for the second time, sending Travis & Presley to the doghouse. Travis said he grew up on a ranch so it's OK. He lived in a doghouse on a ranch?

Oh, and Tillman throws up in the swimming pool. Charmed, I'm sure.

Next the little weasel guy, sorry, the host Jarrod Miller comes in to brief the dogtestants on the elimination challenge.

As we know, it is a photo shoot and each owner will work with a professional dog photographer to best convey a word they've chosen out of a bowl.

J.D. & Galaxy, sneaky. Bill & Star, stubborn. Beth (ugh) Joy & Bella Starlet, mischievous. Teresa & Leroy, angry. Laurie & Andrew, curious. Travis & Presley, joyous. Brandy & Beacon, jealousy. No, just kidding. They picked loving. Laura & Preston, regal. Ron & Tillman, lazy.

My Kate could have done lazy.

Everyone starts planning how best to portray their word. Bill over reacts, obsessing over having to work with a photographer. Bill, chill!

To get him to look angry Teresa sprays Leroy with what we later find out is grapefruit juice/water and tries shoving a lemon in his face. Then she tries to anger him with a vacuum cleaner and Leroy bites her finger. She calls him a little bastard.

What family doesn't have its ups and downs. (Good dog.)

Laura gives Teresa a snarl band that is used in movies to make a dog show its fangs. Teresa doesn't know if she will use it, but keeps it anyway.

The shoot goes on, from contestant to contestant. Some of the pictures are pretty good.

The judges finally get to see the pix.

They pick J.D. & Galaxy's sneaky picture as the best in show. It really was quite good and beautifully depicted the word sneaky. Part of the win is having the picture printed in Dog Fancy magazine.

For the bottom three, the judges chose Ron & Tillman, Teresa & Leroy and Brandy & Beacon.

Tillman's picture was just his head lying on a chair or something. The judges felt Ron was the lazy one in producing the picture.

Brandy's loving idea with Beacon and roses didn't work.

Teresa admitted she used the snarl bands to create the angry effect and is trounced by the judges for using them. The word "inhumane" is used where "uncomfortable" might be more appropriate. Good thing she didn't mention spraying grapefruit juice in her dog's eyes.

Even though I don't have a dog in this fight, I was shocked that the judges tossed Ron & Tillman out.

So what if he didn't prepare for the hoity toity dog photographer. At least he didn't provoke his faithful companion to bite him.

To me there was no question that "inhumane" trumps "lazy" any day.

Bad judges. Bad.

Ready for adoption — video edition

Here are the Dutchess County SPCA Pets of the Week — Ready for adoption. What are you waiting for?

This week's featured pets:
Kittens — All kinds!
"Come on, who can resist a face like this? And we have dozens more just like them! Kitten season ha been very active this year, and we have a bountiful bunch of adorable kittens neeing homes. Stop by today, and get your purr on. Many shapes, sizes and colors to choose from."


The Dutchess County SPCA is located at 636 Violet Avenue, Hyde Park, NY 12538. The shelter is open Sunday, Monday, Friday and Saturday 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.; Tuesday and Thursday 11:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. Closed Wednesdays. Call 845-452-SPCA (7722). Browse our adoptable animals today!

Shelter pets rule.

It takes a lickin'

And Kate doesn't hate it.

I saw an ad for this frozen treat somewhere and looked it up on line.

Yoghund is made with organic low fat milk with live bacterial cultures. The boxes it comes in are made from 100% recycled materials. They even use paper cups in case your pooch eats it along with the yogurt.

The Web site's store locator said that Hannaford's in Highland carried the product so I went over the bridge last night after work and picked up some for Kate to try.

The only flavor they had was banana and peanut butter. The other flavor they manufacture is blueberry and vanilla bean.



And here's a cute puppy who probably needs to cut down on Yoghund.

Anyone missing a cat?

Princess Chunk is not a cat that would be easy to miss.

Weighing in a 44 pounds, this kitty was found wandering outdoors in Voorhees, N.J., without a collar.

Here's the whole story from sister Gannett paper the Courier Post in Cherry Hill.

The current mystery, besides the cat's astonishing weight, is how she could have escaped from her home.

"She's built like a quarterback," said (Deborah) Wright, of Sicklerville, (shelter volunteer and current foster owner of the cat). "I mean, how do you lose a 44-pound cat?!"

Where does a 44-pound cat sit?

Anywhere it wants to.

Now if it were Alaska that would be funny

The race for mayor of Fairhope, Ala., is a real dog of a race.

That's because there's a dog running for mayor. Ha!

An Associated Press article, with the incorrect headline setting the town in Alaska, said that Willie Bean Roscoe P. Coltrane is a 7-year-old yellow Labrador retriever whose owner entered him in the political contest.

Unfortunately, the pooch missed the July 15 qualifying deadline, so it will have to be a write-in vote.

I say, go for it, Willie Bean. Make us proud.

You know, with all the cynicism about politics and the political process, what is truly amazing about this story is that there are seven candidates for mayor!

Pet thefts on the rise

Another sign of the economy, according to this article on MSNBC.com, is a rise in pet thefts.

American Kennel Club spokesperson Lisa Peterson said that toy breeds, puppies and purebred dogs that are expensive-looking are most vulnerable. Stolen breeds tracked by the AKC in 2008 include Yorkshire terriers, poodles, Pomeranians and bulldogs.

Some thieves walk off with puppies from pet stores and animal shelters or take dogs tied up outside stores and coffee shops. Others break into cars where dogs have been left while their owners run an errand. Some have even posed as prospective puppy buyers to case breeders’ homes, breaking in later to snatch the dogs, says Peterson.

So, keep your eyes on your pooches, people.

Traveling with your pet?

With vacations underway, it's time to think about how to safely travel with your dog or cat.

Car trips can be stressful for humans, so think how Fido or Fluffy must feel. At least they don't have to worry about the price of gasoline.

Response Insurance has a few tips to help make the journey a smooth one.

• If your pet isn't used to car trips, try a few test runs to acclimate them. Spending time in the car while parked and short drives at first is a good start.

• Cats should be kept in a carrier; dogs should be held in a restraining harness. This keeps your pet stable in the event of sudden movement or a crash.

• Feed the pet less than normal. Too much water can upset the stomach; provide ice to chew on. Pack toys and bedding.

• Outfit your pet with a collar that has an ID tag that includes permanent and vacation addresses and phone numbers. Have a photo of your pet with you. There is always micro-chipping.

• Don't let your dog stick its head out the car window. Small stones and debris become dangerous projectiles at highway speeds.

• Never, never, never (my emphasis) leave your pet in a car in warm or hot weather.

• Pack a first-aid kit with tweezers and alcohol for tick removal, cloth bandages and topical antiseptic.

Greatest American Dog — episode 3

The theme of last night's "The Greatest (yeah right) American Dog" was backstabbing and being wussies.

Hold on a second. I'm getting a phone call.

What? You're kidding.

OK, I've been told the theme of last night's show was teamwork.

But there was a lot of backstabbing and there were a lot of wussies.

Picking up where last week left off, Beth Joy (believe me, the second part of her name doesn't fit) screamed when the contestants got back to their house after the elimination round.

Beth Joy was still upset the judges didn't like her putting a dress on Bella Starlet. She singled out Laurie & Andrew for the little top knots on his head, which Laurie says is standard grooming for presentations.

Neither is pleased with the other. All the rest of the bipedal contestants roll their eyes and look askance.

Later, Elvis's (of David & Elvis) talent is made manifest by clearing the entire backyard play area of all dogs and humans except for Laurie & Andrew.

The others (wussies) are so terrified by Elvis and his alleged aggression that they leave when he is let off leash.

Andrew and Elvis play together nicely and Laurie and David bond. Or do they?

The Dog Bone Challenge is as exciting as untangling knots.

Which is what the challenge is: "Tangled Leash."

Paired off, the teams have to work together (see? teamwork) to get their dogs through, around, up and over benches and pillars while they are leashed.

Believe me, that description was MUCH more exciting than the actual challenge.

Travis & Presley and Brandy & Beacon win, though Brandy started going crazy and shrieking. Travis didn't appreciate that.

They choose Laurie & Andrew for the dog house. Laurie asks why and Travis pleads the fifth. Wussie.

Oh, and Brandy has the hots for Travis, but Travis is spending waaaaaay too much time with Laura (of Laura & Preston — ya need a scorecard!). Brandy is not amused.

The Best in Show Challenge is a relay race combined with an obstacle course. Two teams, five pairs in each. Dogs do the course, guided by the humans.

They decided who is best at what and divide up the obstacles. Then they practice.

During the first team's challenge, J.D. & Galaxy screw up the first Frisbee toss, even though that is their signature stunt. Ha. Beth (ugh) Joy & Bella Starlet don't do jumping through the hoops very well. Travis & Presley ace pushing the cart. Bill & Star do the see-saws and maze pretty well (except Star jumps out of the maze when Bill says out; Star was just doing what he said) and Laura & Preston race through the tubes. Time? 2:52.

Whew.

Second team: Teresa & Leroy catch the Frisbee on the first try. Laurie & Andrew do pretty well on the hoops, though Laurie cheats by increasing the size of the hole in the paper-covered hoop, Ron & Tillman mess up the cart pushing, David & Elvis have trouble with the seesaw (on leash) but whiz through the maze (off leash), Brandy squeals (stop it!) while Beacon goes quickly through the tubes, though Brandy holds the final, collapsed tube up for her dog (that's a no-no). Time? 3:01.

Not so whew.

All members of the quickest team are safe and move on to whatever next week holds.

The judges say that Ron & Tillman needed to prepare more, Brandy shouldn't have helped Beacon and Laurie should not have made the paper hoop hole bigger. The entire team is criticized for David having Elvis on leash. Laurie tosses David to the wolves, saying to the judges that Elvis was on leash because he had bitten other dogs.

The judges don't like that Laurie has traded team ideals for personal gain.

The bottom three: David & Elvis, Ron & Tillman, Laurie & Andrew.

David & Elvis are out. I wasn't surprised, because, while David had a great relationship with his pooch, there wasn't the same level of training on their part as the other two.

After their loser lap, David turns to his former contestants and the judges and says, "Elvis has left the building."

Everybody laughs uproariously.

Except me.

DCSPCA needs donations

Elmo (top) and Able are just two of almost 80 cats recently taken in by the Dutchess County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals since March.

In March, DCSPCA humane law officers investigated cats living in horrible conditions in Hyde Park. More than 30 cats, many of whom were pregnant, were living in an 8x10-foot room.

They were seized and taken to the shelter, where the pregnant animals have given birth and all are being nursed back to health.

Then in June, the DCSPCA responded to a call about cats living in a garage in Dutchess County.
Officers found 49 cats living in an area so filthy and pungent it burned the eyes of the rescuers, according to Executive Director Joyce Garrity.

The cats were covered in excrement and were filthy and matted. Many had genetic deformities. DCSPCA vets are working to bring them back to health.

Garrity said, in a press release issued today, that rehabilitation, veterinary expenses and food will place a heavy burden on the organization.

So the DCSPCA is requesting support from the community in the form of monetary donations, as well as the contribution of wet cat food and kitty litter.

The DCSPCA is located at 636 Violet Avenue in Hyde Park.

For information, call 845-452-SPCA (7722).

Ready for adoption — video edition

See Sage practice her sit!

Here is the Dutchess County SPCA Pet of the Week — Ready for adoption. What are you waiting for?

This week's featured pet:
Sage — Terrier/whippet
"This beautiful whippet/terrier mix would be a great companion for the outdoors/hiking couple. Very athletic (and in good shape) brindle and white female enjoys the company of other humans. But life as an only dog would be best, as she doesn't like to share her affection with you and other dogs. Just a little 'Sage' advice."


The Dutchess County SPCA is located at 636 Violet Avenue, Hyde Park, NY 12538. The shelter is open Sunday, Monday, Friday and Saturday 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.; Tuesday and Thursday 11:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. Closed Wednesdays. Call 845-452-SPCA (7722). Browse our adoptable animals today!

Shelter pets rule.