I can't believe it's only the second episode.
Tillman the bulldog and Elvis the jack russell got into a fight. Tillman gets bitten near the eye. His owner Ron is understandably upset but, you know, dogs are dogs and they get into scraps.
Elvis's owner Jack sleeps in the doghouse again, even though he doesn't have to, to avoid having the dogs in the same bedroom.
What a guy.
Ron says, referring to Tillman's losing battle with a much smaller dog, "He's a farter, not a fighter."
What a guy.
The dog bone challenge (sheesh) is a series of commands. The last dog to successfully perform wins the "golden bone" (they still haven't renamed it!) for his or her owner and a chance to live it up in the luxury suite, filled with dog toys and treats.
Travis & Presley win, sending J.D. & Galaxy, who won the first DBC, to sleep in the dog house. Travis welcomes everyone in the suite, which is quite unlike what J.D. did last week.
A bit of added drama occurred when Bill let Star outside the next (at least on tape) morning. Out of sight, Star yelps and Bill finds her bleeding. They are wisked to the vet. Star is examined and found to have a torn ear tip, possibly from a cat.
While waiting, Bill says that Star is not a dog, she's a companion. Cue the music.
The best in show challenge was called "Petiquette." At the Bone Appetit restaurant, oh my sides hurt from laughing, the dogs are tested in their ability to heel and then to sit in front of their favorite meal without eating it.
Much to everyone's amazement none of the dogs touch the food.
Most annoyingly though, Elan keeps saying "Ah, ah, ah" to poor large schnauzer Kenji.
The owners have to leave the dog on their pedestals and walk around the table. Kenji makes a break for it (smart dog) though. None of the other dogs follow (they had their chance — I'm beginning to wonder if Star planned her little medical incident just to get the hell away from the show).
The judges like how Laurie works with Andrew. they are amazed Tillman (the farter) leaves his steak alone. David needs to work on less confusing hand signals. Brandy's Beacon doesn't heel very well.
Travis talks baby talk to Presley (a good thing), Bella Starlet shouldn't be dressed up — by Beth Joy — especially when grooming is part of the challenge (a bad thing).
Bill & Star win best of show.
The bottom three are Elan & Kenji, Beth Joy & Starlet and David & Elvis.
Beth Joy tells the judges off, saying that it's in the Constitution that she should be allowed to dress up her pooch (no, not really). But she does say that one should be dressed up at a dinner party, if even one can't see how one is groomed.
Can't argue with logic.
Is spite of her outburst, Beth Joy & Bella Starlet will be back.
The judges boot Elan & Kenji. And they still make them take a non-victory lap.
Showing posts with label reality TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality TV. Show all posts
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Greatest American Dog — episode 1
You know the phrase "It shouldn't happen to a dog"?
Well, Greatest American Dog shouldn't happen to any species.
I've said before that I'm not a fan of reality series. They are too contrived, and the "writing" is done in the editing room.
During the first episode, which aired last night, we met all the contestants vying for the title and $250,000 — from skateboarding bulldog Tillman (of the YouTube vid) and his human Ron to Bella Starlet, a mutt, who her human Beth Joy likes to call the "Pamela Anderson of dogs." Ugh.
I wouldn't compare my dog to Pamela Anderson even if it meant I would get $250,000. Some things come at too high a cost.
The 12 dogs and their owners all live together in an estate filled with food and dog furniture, and surrounded by sumptuous grounds with a large pool and dog-shaped topiaries.
There is nothing really innovative about the way the program is set up. There is a challenge at the beginning and a reward. There is an elimination challenge (and not the kind you have to clean up) and someone and their owner is sent packing off the island, er, off the runway, um, out of the kitchen. Whatever.
And there is a host named Jarod Miller, a "zoologist, pet expert, television host and go-to talk show guest," according to the CBS Web site. I remember seeing one of the first appearances of Miller on TV. He was on Letterman's show. There were animals; things didn't go well. Letterman made mincemeat of the guy. It was hilarious.
So the first "Dog Bone" challenge, for which the winner and its owner get to sleep in a luxurious suite outfitted with dog treats and toys. The winner's owner also gets to pick one pair to sleep outside in a large dog house. Oy. All the rest of the contestants have to sleep elsewhere in the mansion, poor babies.
The challenge was an interminable game of doggie musical chairs. The pups were lead around elevated platforms by their humans and when the music stopped, they (the dogs) had to get onto a platform in a sit position. Somehow I think the humans would have had a tougher time of it.
Whoever was not on a platform and in a sit position was out.
Did I say it was interminable? Well, it also went on too long.
We did find out that Leroy, a border collie, owned by Teresa, has a barking problem, and all Teresa does about it is shout at Leroy. Not great, Teresa. Don't get too comfortable.
The winner of the challenge was former professional snowboarder J.D., a "dog entertainer," which doesn't mean he entertains dogs, but entertains with dogs, and his pooch Galaxy, an English pointer/border collie mix.
He received the "golden bone" from Miller which unlocked the primo suite — mind you they were all taking this way seriously — and chose David, a doctor, and Elvis, a parson Russell terrier to stay in the dog house. David was not amused, and neither was I.
The other contestants took pity on David and brought him food and blankets and his luggage. Judging from the introductions made of these people at the beginning of the show, I wouldn't want to be rooming with any of them, so I think David got the better deal.
The elimination challenge was a talent show and the contestants broke up into teams of four pairs.
They were being judged by some really unappealing people: dog trainer Victoria Stilwell, Dog World & Dog Fancy editor Allan Reznik and author Wendy Diamond.
J.D. quickly chose who he thought would be the most talented: Teresa & Leroy, Bill & Star and Laura & Preston. They call themselves Team Aloha, so naturally the theme is beaches and grass skirts.
The judges don't like Leroy's barking (I agree), they thought Bill was nervous, Galaxy ends up on J.D.'s back (his signature trick, I'm sure he'll do it again and again) and Preston played with a beach ball, which the judges seemed to enjoy.
Team Bark Wag High — I'm not making this up — was made up of Brandy & Beacon, Beth Joy & Bella Starlet, David & Elvis (he's still in the building) and Travis & Presley.
The judges didn't like Brandy physically manipulating Beacon, who really didn't perform anything correctly, even a sit. Bella Starlet danced; whoopee. Elvis rolled over. Travis did the only clever routine. He pretended he was a cop and he frisked Presley who then played dead.
Don't try to get out of this the easy way, Presley!
The last team was Team Disco Dogs, complete with huge Afros and embarrassing clothing. Michael acted as host, leaving Ezzie to do practically nothing. Elan & Kenji do high fives and dance; Ron & Tillman do the skateboarding trick, which if you need to see it again search YouTube.
But Ron, come up with something else. You can't make it through the whole thing just being a dude who thinks he's cool.
The weakest pairs were Brandy & Beacon, Beth Joy & Bells Starlet and Michael & Ezzie. Two of which were heavy on the costumes. I really can't stand dressing up dogs.
Dignity, always dignity.
Too late for that.
Alas, the judges boot Michael, a self-described comedic actor and waiter, & Ezzie, a Boston terrier.
Then they made them take a farewell lap around the room. Again, oy.
Needless to say, I said I would blog about this reality series, but frankly, for the sake of the dogs, I'm praying for cancellation.
If you missed the first episode and should you feel the need to watch it, you can find it at CBS.com. That is, if there isn't anything better on the Weather Channel.
Well, Greatest American Dog shouldn't happen to any species.
I've said before that I'm not a fan of reality series. They are too contrived, and the "writing" is done in the editing room.
During the first episode, which aired last night, we met all the contestants vying for the title and $250,000 — from skateboarding bulldog Tillman (of the YouTube vid) and his human Ron to Bella Starlet, a mutt, who her human Beth Joy likes to call the "Pamela Anderson of dogs." Ugh.
I wouldn't compare my dog to Pamela Anderson even if it meant I would get $250,000. Some things come at too high a cost.
The 12 dogs and their owners all live together in an estate filled with food and dog furniture, and surrounded by sumptuous grounds with a large pool and dog-shaped topiaries.
There is nothing really innovative about the way the program is set up. There is a challenge at the beginning and a reward. There is an elimination challenge (and not the kind you have to clean up) and someone and their owner is sent packing off the island, er, off the runway, um, out of the kitchen. Whatever.
And there is a host named Jarod Miller, a "zoologist, pet expert, television host and go-to talk show guest," according to the CBS Web site. I remember seeing one of the first appearances of Miller on TV. He was on Letterman's show. There were animals; things didn't go well. Letterman made mincemeat of the guy. It was hilarious.
So the first "Dog Bone" challenge, for which the winner and its owner get to sleep in a luxurious suite outfitted with dog treats and toys. The winner's owner also gets to pick one pair to sleep outside in a large dog house. Oy. All the rest of the contestants have to sleep elsewhere in the mansion, poor babies.
The challenge was an interminable game of doggie musical chairs. The pups were lead around elevated platforms by their humans and when the music stopped, they (the dogs) had to get onto a platform in a sit position. Somehow I think the humans would have had a tougher time of it.
Whoever was not on a platform and in a sit position was out.
Did I say it was interminable? Well, it also went on too long.
We did find out that Leroy, a border collie, owned by Teresa, has a barking problem, and all Teresa does about it is shout at Leroy. Not great, Teresa. Don't get too comfortable.
The winner of the challenge was former professional snowboarder J.D., a "dog entertainer," which doesn't mean he entertains dogs, but entertains with dogs, and his pooch Galaxy, an English pointer/border collie mix.
He received the "golden bone" from Miller which unlocked the primo suite — mind you they were all taking this way seriously — and chose David, a doctor, and Elvis, a parson Russell terrier to stay in the dog house. David was not amused, and neither was I.
The other contestants took pity on David and brought him food and blankets and his luggage. Judging from the introductions made of these people at the beginning of the show, I wouldn't want to be rooming with any of them, so I think David got the better deal.
The elimination challenge was a talent show and the contestants broke up into teams of four pairs.
They were being judged by some really unappealing people: dog trainer Victoria Stilwell, Dog World & Dog Fancy editor Allan Reznik and author Wendy Diamond.
J.D. quickly chose who he thought would be the most talented: Teresa & Leroy, Bill & Star and Laura & Preston. They call themselves Team Aloha, so naturally the theme is beaches and grass skirts.
The judges don't like Leroy's barking (I agree), they thought Bill was nervous, Galaxy ends up on J.D.'s back (his signature trick, I'm sure he'll do it again and again) and Preston played with a beach ball, which the judges seemed to enjoy.
Team Bark Wag High — I'm not making this up — was made up of Brandy & Beacon, Beth Joy & Bella Starlet, David & Elvis (he's still in the building) and Travis & Presley.
The judges didn't like Brandy physically manipulating Beacon, who really didn't perform anything correctly, even a sit. Bella Starlet danced; whoopee. Elvis rolled over. Travis did the only clever routine. He pretended he was a cop and he frisked Presley who then played dead.
Don't try to get out of this the easy way, Presley!
The last team was Team Disco Dogs, complete with huge Afros and embarrassing clothing. Michael acted as host, leaving Ezzie to do practically nothing. Elan & Kenji do high fives and dance; Ron & Tillman do the skateboarding trick, which if you need to see it again search YouTube.
But Ron, come up with something else. You can't make it through the whole thing just being a dude who thinks he's cool.
The weakest pairs were Brandy & Beacon, Beth Joy & Bells Starlet and Michael & Ezzie. Two of which were heavy on the costumes. I really can't stand dressing up dogs.
Dignity, always dignity.
Too late for that.
Alas, the judges boot Michael, a self-described comedic actor and waiter, & Ezzie, a Boston terrier.
Then they made them take a farewell lap around the room. Again, oy.
Needless to say, I said I would blog about this reality series, but frankly, for the sake of the dogs, I'm praying for cancellation.
If you missed the first episode and should you feel the need to watch it, you can find it at CBS.com. That is, if there isn't anything better on the Weather Channel.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Great American advertising goes to the dogs
Get the popcorn and the dog biscuits ready. Tonight is the first episode of Greatest American Dog, a new reality series on CBS.
It airs at 8 p.m. ET.
Seems the network is pouring on the advertising. This article talks about putting ads on hot dog stands (a bit of a stretch, in that the "greatest" American dog will not be something one consumes) and hiring dog walkers to put their charges in vests and collars that promote the show.
And Reuters has a review of the program. If Letterman hadn't invented stupid pet tricks, what would a headliner writer do?
In the show, 12 people compete along with their pooches for a $250,000 grand prize.
In full disclosure, I really think that all reality shows are stupid. (Though I watch Top Chef and am trying to stomach — ha! — The Next Food Network Star.)
The long pans across the faces of the contestants, the music that portends bad things, the incipient dialog that if it were scripted (?) the writers should be fired. All pretty dumb.
And, of course, the contestants saying, "I'm not here to make friends."
I'll bet the dogs are there to sniff ... well ... friends.
So all that said, check back for my week-by-week summary of the dog-eat-dog world of reality television.
And may the best pooch win.
It airs at 8 p.m. ET.
Seems the network is pouring on the advertising. This article talks about putting ads on hot dog stands (a bit of a stretch, in that the "greatest" American dog will not be something one consumes) and hiring dog walkers to put their charges in vests and collars that promote the show.
And Reuters has a review of the program. If Letterman hadn't invented stupid pet tricks, what would a headliner writer do?
In the show, 12 people compete along with their pooches for a $250,000 grand prize.
In full disclosure, I really think that all reality shows are stupid. (Though I watch Top Chef and am trying to stomach — ha! — The Next Food Network Star.)
The long pans across the faces of the contestants, the music that portends bad things, the incipient dialog that if it were scripted (?) the writers should be fired. All pretty dumb.
And, of course, the contestants saying, "I'm not here to make friends."
I'll bet the dogs are there to sniff ... well ... friends.
So all that said, check back for my week-by-week summary of the dog-eat-dog world of reality television.
And may the best pooch win.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Reality show goes to the dogs
Get ready to hear that annoying "Who Let the Dogs Out" song, when the Tiffany network CBS premiers its latest reality series Greatest American Dog July 10.
Granted Kate did not enter, which should give the contestants paws, er, pause.
CBS announced the contestants who will vie for the $250,000 grand prize:
I just hope there aren't quickfire cooking challenges like on Top Chef. Kate is all thumbs in the kitchen.
Granted Kate did not enter, which should give the contestants paws, er, pause.
CBS announced the contestants who will vie for the $250,000 grand prize:
• Beth Joy, an acting manager from New York City, and Bella Starlet, a 10-year-old Chihuahua, Labrador Retriever, Shih-Tzu, Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever and Pomeranian mixThe dogs and their owners will live together in a house and will compete in a series of challenges designed to measure each owners' ability to train their dogs. Each week one team will be eliminated.
• Bill, a building maintenance employee from Flint, TX, and Star, a 7-year-old Brittany
• Brandy, a fashion designer from Orange County, CA, and Beacon, a 1-year-old Miniature Schnauzer
• David, a doctor from New York City, and Elvis, a 2-year-old Parson Russell Terrier
• Elan, an aspiring dog salon owner from Portland, OR, and Kenji, a 1-year-old Giant Schnauzer
• J.D., a dog entertainer from Bend, OR, and Galaxy, a 9-year-old English Pointer Border Collie and Labrador mix
• Laura, a film producer from Los Angeles, CA, and Preston, a 5-year-old Pomeranian
• Laurie, a doggy day care owner from Stafford, VA, and Andrew, a 5-year-old Maltese
• Michael, an aspiring comic from Los Angeles, CA, and Ezzie, a 2-year-old Boston Terrier
• Ron, a construction manager from Oxnard, CA, and Tillman, a 3-year-old English Bull Dog
• Teresa, a dog sitter from Fairfax, VA, and Leroy, a 5-year-old Border Collie
• Travis, a bartender from Los Angeles, CA, and Presley, a 1-year-old Boxer
I just hope there aren't quickfire cooking challenges like on Top Chef. Kate is all thumbs in the kitchen.
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